Hello again, my fellow prisoners, there's another subject that occurred during my self-imposed sabbatical (or whatever it was that kept me away from these here words of writ) which I'd like to touch upon, simply because I promised it would be my next subject in my last post about my dealings with the office cockroach. And that is a recent story that made a seminal large blip on the world's radar a couple of weeks back.
And that was this prediction made by a deluded self important (and sadly impotent) old man claiming that the world would end on said day, at said hour, blah, blah, blah, etc. You know, just the usual jargon that these self destructive religious fanatics like to demonstrate to the world from time to time. Who could blame them, I mean, after all... it's in their nature, right? Let's forget for a moment, that we're all nothing but a bunch of creatures that are incapable of rational thought and that we need to be egged on by the fact that we won't be here too long. It's a pretty good motivator, don't ya think? Hell, it sure gets my creative juices flowing, enough to dedicate some time of my precious life to futile worthwhile pursuits such as these!
So, why am I even bothering to dedicate a space to the crazy old man that made a fallacy with his prediction (AKA: End of Days Fail! which is just a throwaway title for a humorous YouTube video concept that's just a'waitin' to happen!) here? Well... it's because I (being the crazy old man that I am) know exactly how the world is going to end, but it's really just a matter of when. Call me crazy, I mean it's nothing new--- my psychologist tells me the same exact thing all the time!
Anyways, here's the scenario. Many people believe the world will come to an end on December 2012, because of the rather stupid urban legend (of biblical) stemming from the end of the Long Count Mayan calendar. But the truth is that there is not going to be Rapture, nor are The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse going to manifest themselves and bring about the Earth's highly assured destruction. Coke will not turn into Pepsi, in other words, my friends...
The end will actually come about in the form of a self-fulfilled prophecy. Yes indeed, people--- you are all guilty of this mass hysteria/collective delusion/whatever it is that will propel you to accept the little wafer from the hands of a pedophile. And that's just putting it mildly, folks. I mean after all, it is because of our foolish devout belief in certain systems of religion with a bunch of crazy superstitions and foolish practices (such as openly accepting a deity into your life via a little piece of a breaded waffle snack, which could only leave me to wondering what exactly happens to your faith the next time you have to visit the nearest toilet, post Eucharist) that we all find ourselves in the state we're in today; you know... when we're questioning a President's religious leanings simply because of the color of his skin and all?
Well, I guess we as a civilization aren't ready for that kind of open mindedness. Which is why I'm totally convinced that the world is actually going to end on the day after everyone expects it to come to an end. And it's not going to happen due to the aforementioned phenomena that's slated to occur, like an Apocalyptic benefit concert for the society against logic; no... it's most likely going to occur when religion's publicist fails to deliver on the promise that the world shall come to an end. So what will happen next will be a domino effect of some sort, that'll start off small... maybe just a few hundred reports of people committing mass suicides (or should I say genocide?) at some refreshment drinking party, you know like Jim Jones' Kool Aid bash? What a hit that was, folks! And then it will spread like a massive virus, just short circuiting the intellectual wires (believe me, there aren't that many in each brain to begin with) of these highly devout individuals' grey matter.
And that was this prediction made by a deluded self important (and sadly impotent) old man claiming that the world would end on said day, at said hour, blah, blah, blah, etc. You know, just the usual jargon that these self destructive religious fanatics like to demonstrate to the world from time to time. Who could blame them, I mean, after all... it's in their nature, right? Let's forget for a moment, that we're all nothing but a bunch of creatures that are incapable of rational thought and that we need to be egged on by the fact that we won't be here too long. It's a pretty good motivator, don't ya think? Hell, it sure gets my creative juices flowing, enough to dedicate some time of my precious life to futile worthwhile pursuits such as these!
So, why am I even bothering to dedicate a space to the crazy old man that made a fallacy with his prediction (AKA: End of Days Fail! which is just a throwaway title for a humorous YouTube video concept that's just a'waitin' to happen!) here? Well... it's because I (being the crazy old man that I am) know exactly how the world is going to end, but it's really just a matter of when. Call me crazy, I mean it's nothing new--- my psychologist tells me the same exact thing all the time!
Anyways, here's the scenario. Many people believe the world will come to an end on December 2012, because of the rather stupid urban legend (of biblical) stemming from the end of the Long Count Mayan calendar. But the truth is that there is not going to be Rapture, nor are The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse going to manifest themselves and bring about the Earth's highly assured destruction. Coke will not turn into Pepsi, in other words, my friends...
The end will actually come about in the form of a self-fulfilled prophecy. Yes indeed, people--- you are all guilty of this mass hysteria/collective delusion/whatever it is that will propel you to accept the little wafer from the hands of a pedophile. And that's just putting it mildly, folks. I mean after all, it is because of our foolish devout belief in certain systems of religion with a bunch of crazy superstitions and foolish practices (such as openly accepting a deity into your life via a little piece of a breaded waffle snack, which could only leave me to wondering what exactly happens to your faith the next time you have to visit the nearest toilet, post Eucharist) that we all find ourselves in the state we're in today; you know... when we're questioning a President's religious leanings simply because of the color of his skin and all?
Well, I guess we as a civilization aren't ready for that kind of open mindedness. Which is why I'm totally convinced that the world is actually going to end on the day after everyone expects it to come to an end. And it's not going to happen due to the aforementioned phenomena that's slated to occur, like an Apocalyptic benefit concert for the society against logic; no... it's most likely going to occur when religion's publicist fails to deliver on the promise that the world shall come to an end. So what will happen next will be a domino effect of some sort, that'll start off small... maybe just a few hundred reports of people committing mass suicides (or should I say genocide?) at some refreshment drinking party, you know like Jim Jones' Kool Aid bash? What a hit that was, folks! And then it will spread like a massive virus, just short circuiting the intellectual wires (believe me, there aren't that many in each brain to begin with) of these highly devout individuals' grey matter.
Some sage advice...
Next thing you know, some cats with access to some fully powered automatic weapons are going to go on a killing spree... maybe to settle some old scores that need some type of closure to them, because after all, what better time to put an end to your hangups than when you're under the impression that it's all going to end anyways. So you might as well take some of those motherfuckers out with you, while you still can, right?!? Only then, shall the violence keep on increasing until it's a full scale invasion of religious nuts out in the street shooting the B'Jesus out of everything in sight... and maybe even offing themselves after they've gotten their rocks off exterminating some supposed religious threats that have invaded their regular mode of thinking, which is nothing short of a G Rated animated motion picture epic of some sort!
All it takes is nothing but a great deal of research into history. You need not look that far, ladies and gentlemen. As a matter of fact, you can easily take notice of how far we humans are willing to go, given just the right catastrophic conditions. Sometimes, all it takes is a big holiday sale, and we got a lovely little stampede on our hands with little to no regard whatsoever for what normal people consider to be precious human life!
All it takes is nothing but a great deal of research into history. You need not look that far, ladies and gentlemen. As a matter of fact, you can easily take notice of how far we humans are willing to go, given just the right catastrophic conditions. Sometimes, all it takes is a big holiday sale, and we got a lovely little stampede on our hands with little to no regard whatsoever for what normal people consider to be precious human life!
So what's the moral of this story? Well... first of all, to hell with morality in general! For it's one of religion's seeds of evil designed to impose it's awfully mistaken faith fairing compass of a doctrine on the likes of the rest of us who could really care less about how holy we are in the eyes of God or whatever it is. After all, when a televised evangelist rips people off by the thousands of schmuck viewers, he's forgiven for his crimes, but when some poor dumb ass criminal knocks over a local 7-Eleven without shooting anybody, he gets the electric chair!
Oh well, maybe it's just the magical powers that these self-absorbed faith hoarders can easily sum up from time to time, just to have that odd profound affect above the highly deficient minds of the lot of us regular idiots. Let's take for example, this old man that played not one, but two, and maybe even three knick knacks on our collective thumbs, as we were all grinding their nails down with our teeth, waiting desperately for our final hours on this here Earth! This was not the first time he predicted the end of the world. Survey says... Ding! Red flag! As a matter of fact, it was the second time he predicted that the end of the world would come about. So what we should be doing here is not giving a single shed of credence (delayed pun, sorry folks) to people like this.
Oh well, maybe it's just the magical powers that these self-absorbed faith hoarders can easily sum up from time to time, just to have that odd profound affect above the highly deficient minds of the lot of us regular idiots. Let's take for example, this old man that played not one, but two, and maybe even three knick knacks on our collective thumbs, as we were all grinding their nails down with our teeth, waiting desperately for our final hours on this here Earth! This was not the first time he predicted the end of the world. Survey says... Ding! Red flag! As a matter of fact, it was the second time he predicted that the end of the world would come about. So what we should be doing here is not giving a single shed of credence (delayed pun, sorry folks) to people like this.
Next thing we know, he's basing the Earth's demise in the form of a mathematical equation. Survey says... Ding! Second red flag. Really? Religion going hand in had with science is not really a good mix. There's nothing really holy about a formula, especially if it's wrong! So what now? Are we just going to wait around 'til 2012's great asteroid which is expected to tear through the atmosphere and detonate us back to the stone age from whence we came? Or can we just spend the rest of our time in more futile pursuits like turning our attention towards the next talented fetus with a pop hit on her hands and paying the price for an admission ticket to her concert by throwing away our children's saved up college tuition into the toilet? Personally, I could give a shit about either one.
All I hope is that when the end of the world happens (if it happens, that is) that all these people are the first to go. Let's start with these highly devout politicians with the morals that they like to display in the confines of an airport bathroom station, while their political trophy wives with a chemical dependency have a nineteenth nervous breakdown as they try to explain to their kids that they now have to get divorced from their father simply because he's a freak. I hope the Rapture gets rid of these teen idol sensations with a pretty industrialized Botox injection of a lab experiment gone wrong with their pretty faces of theirs engulfing the life of them with one swift lake of fire splash. Add to that scene, the sight of their army of loser publicists and traveling entourage, full of makeup artists, backup dancers, and drug induced overbearing parent figures, whom are all in denial as to whether they should stay together as a unit, just to raise this spoiled brat up right.
And next will be all these performance enhancement drug mongering jock offs whom have jacked themselves up for way too long and easily lulled and bullshitted their way through the public consciousness by proclaiming their love for the game in the form of a celebrity endorsement or two or three billion's worth for shoes made in an overseas sweatshop by children forced into industrial slavery. And who can forget the architects? Let's not leave out the ones that have dwindled the retirement accounts of this nation's upright citizens whom are all paying their taxes (whether on time and deliberately, or late and trying to keep up with last year's expenses). If they didn't jump out of the ledge of Wall Street's high rise buildings the first time around after they realized that the bottom sank out of their insider trading schemes, then perhaps some huge chunks of rocks falling out of the sky shall take care of them nicely, I suspect.
And after all is said and done, and we've taken care of the huge percentage of these foul and highly useless species of critters, what is there left to say? After all, it is written that the meek shall inherit the earth, right? Well... I'll certainly take whatever you can give me! Hell, if there's still a pot left to piss in after the Apocalypse, you can bet I'll be standing in line waiting to drain the proverbial snake, my friends! Kind of makes you wonder, how bad this place can be after all the highly devoted that have caused more massacres and bloodshed in the name of their god than anything else in history (natural disasters included), doesn't it? Oh well... I guess that's what the phrase "Paradise on Earth" really means, after all.
And now that I have tattooed these mental images upon your third eye, I leave you with these here words of advice from the late great George Carlin...
All I hope is that when the end of the world happens (if it happens, that is) that all these people are the first to go. Let's start with these highly devout politicians with the morals that they like to display in the confines of an airport bathroom station, while their political trophy wives with a chemical dependency have a nineteenth nervous breakdown as they try to explain to their kids that they now have to get divorced from their father simply because he's a freak. I hope the Rapture gets rid of these teen idol sensations with a pretty industrialized Botox injection of a lab experiment gone wrong with their pretty faces of theirs engulfing the life of them with one swift lake of fire splash. Add to that scene, the sight of their army of loser publicists and traveling entourage, full of makeup artists, backup dancers, and drug induced overbearing parent figures, whom are all in denial as to whether they should stay together as a unit, just to raise this spoiled brat up right.
And next will be all these performance enhancement drug mongering jock offs whom have jacked themselves up for way too long and easily lulled and bullshitted their way through the public consciousness by proclaiming their love for the game in the form of a celebrity endorsement or two or three billion's worth for shoes made in an overseas sweatshop by children forced into industrial slavery. And who can forget the architects? Let's not leave out the ones that have dwindled the retirement accounts of this nation's upright citizens whom are all paying their taxes (whether on time and deliberately, or late and trying to keep up with last year's expenses). If they didn't jump out of the ledge of Wall Street's high rise buildings the first time around after they realized that the bottom sank out of their insider trading schemes, then perhaps some huge chunks of rocks falling out of the sky shall take care of them nicely, I suspect.
And after all is said and done, and we've taken care of the huge percentage of these foul and highly useless species of critters, what is there left to say? After all, it is written that the meek shall inherit the earth, right? Well... I'll certainly take whatever you can give me! Hell, if there's still a pot left to piss in after the Apocalypse, you can bet I'll be standing in line waiting to drain the proverbial snake, my friends! Kind of makes you wonder, how bad this place can be after all the highly devoted that have caused more massacres and bloodshed in the name of their god than anything else in history (natural disasters included), doesn't it? Oh well... I guess that's what the phrase "Paradise on Earth" really means, after all.
And now that I have tattooed these mental images upon your third eye, I leave you with these here words of advice from the late great George Carlin...
This has been P.S. Elliott, or his holy and revered reverend of irreverence Dr. Gonzo XXVII reporting for the disassociated blog that is The Animate Tripe Chronicles.
